Why finding a boyfriend and buying a house are the same process
You’ll have few defining and important decisions in your life. Choosing who you are going to spend your life with (or at least a significant portion of your life) is definitely one of them. I would argue that another top contender for ‘big life defining moments’ is purchasing your first house. Though you can always sell your house (and dump your boyfriend!), there are significant mental and emotional drains that go with each.
Not only is house buying a more in-depth process than many realize, it is also one of the largest financial decisions of your life - and therefore, not to be taken lightly. But sometimes, people can get caught up in heated real estate markets, multiple offer situations, and frequent losses that make them want to snatch up the next best thing that comes their way.
Does this situation sound familiar? Consider the psychology behind a heated market where there is a buying frenzy and you just can’t get an accepted offer on any of the houses you bid on. Every offer you make is rejected, and after 6,7,8 offers rejected, you’re worn out, the competition continues to be fierce, and you just want to ‘win’ something. So, what gives?
Maybe you ‘bend’ a little on what you want. And trust me, compromise is okay. It’s unlikely that everyone will find their ‘perfect house’ at their ‘perfect price’ with all the features they could have ever wanted. Watch any of the house hunting shows on HGTV and you’ll see that there is always compromise to be had. But, just like in a relationship, don’t compromise on the big things. If you have a desired neighbourhood that is important to you because the schools are perfect for your kids, or you have a price point that you just can’t surpass because it would create financial strain, do NOT compromise on these things.
These should be your non-negotiables. I know it may seem like common sense to not budge on the big things (sorry cigarette smokers!) but I’ve seen it happen countless times in both situations. I’ve seen friends who put time and energy chasing relationships that don’t work out, to the point where they end up exhausted and simply accepting the next person that comes along. In doing so, they overlook that persons’ flaws that would have had them running for the hills 6 months earlier.
Similarly, I’ve seen buyers who spend hours every week scouring Viewpoint and MLS for houses, sacrificing their evenings to view these houses, offering on these houses - all the while “falling in love” with these houses - only to end up being rejected for a higher (or better) offer. Ah, the heartbreak. Quickly followed by the exhaustion of doing it all over again.
So, how can you avoid the shi*ty boyfriends and sub-par houses?
Take a deep breath. Find a great Realtor (wink wink ;) Tell her your non-negotiables. And let her remind you of the important things when you feel like you’ve reached the end of your rope. Because just like boyfriends, there are always more houses in the sea. Be patient. Your ‘one’ will come along :)
Hit me up if you’re in need of a great matchmaker: firstname.lastname@example.org